BRYAN FLETCHER ADDED TO IMMORTALS SHORTLIST AFTER COCAINE SCANDAL

By David Beauchamps & Roger Hermansson

Former Roosters and Souths backrower, Bryan Fletcher has been revealed as a last-minute addition to the list of greats in line to be named the ninth and tenth immortals in tomorrow night’s gala Hall of Fame ceremony.

It comes on the back of the Fox Sports star being caught up in a scandal where he was filmed allegedly buying cocaine from an Uber driver.

Fletcher has professed his innocence, however it is understood that he is considering admitting guilt after the aspersion he suffered has thrust him in line to receive Australian rugby league’s greatest honour.

The incident has led to several calls for Fletcher to be stood down from his position as chief dickhead on Fox League’s comedy league shows.

Screen Shot 2018-07-31 at 21.28.00

There has been doubt over whether or not it is indeed Fletcher in the video, as he spells his first name with a “y”.

Fletcher’s co-star Matt Johns was quick to leap to his defence. “Mate, it’s not his go mate. And even if it was, history has proven that it should be no barrier to his inclusion in the Immortals,” said Johns.

“‘Joey’ couldn’t go two hours without popping a disco biscuit. Just quietly, he racked up more than Fletch bought off the cabbie either side of his acceptance speech the night he was inducted.

“‘Changa’ [Immortal Graeme Langlands] went to the Phillipines to fiddle with kids and he’s still in there. Getting on the nose beers hardly bears mentioning.”

The irony of the whole situation is that at this stage there is literally no evidence that Fletcher actually downed any of the Wall Street caffeine – but he has embraced it according to close friend and frequent Fox League collaborator Nathan Hindmarsh.

“I’m fairly sure he didn’t touch it, it was the driver being a fuckstick,” Hindmarsh said. “But when I rang him to hang shit on him, he just goes ‘I’m going to cop to it. Every other cunt that gets caught in a compromising incident seems to get a publicity boost.’ Matty Johns and half the Shire tagged up that girl in New Zealand and he’s set for life. If anything I’ll probably end up with my own show after this. I’m going to tell everyone I’ve been mainlining heroin if I have to.’ Hindmarsh recounted. “So it’s fair to say he’s not all that concerned.”

Screen Shot 2018-07-31 at 21.33.59

Hindmarsh and Fletcher providing comedy gold on The Matty Johns Show.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s